SECRET LANGUAGE When the Instructions Are One Picture
The drawing shows two shapes and one arrow, and the arrow is the only thing that's actually wrong.
Reading the SECRET LANGUAGE diagram: what the arrow implies, the four steps it leaves out, and how to tell which control runs which zone.
The Short Answer
Ignore the arrow's direction and use the drawing for shape only. It shows where the ears sit relative to the shaft, which is useful. It implies a sequence, which is not. Set the ears against the external area with the power off, then turn on the external zone at setting one of 12, then add the shaft. The picture can't tell you which control is which, and that's the part worth two minutes of testing.
The Diagram Shows Shape, Not Sequence
A one-page illustration has to compress a device into a silhouette. The silhouette is accurate. The arrow is a design choice.
The arrow usually points from the handle toward the tip, which reads as "insert this end." That part is right. What it doesn't show is that the ears need to be positioned before the shaft goes anywhere.
On SECRET LANGUAGE, the ears are the contact point with the narrower window. A quarter inch of depth moves them more than it moves the shaft, so the order matters.
Shape first, sequence from the product page. That's the split this diagram forces you to make.
Four Steps the Drawing Implies
Unboxing, charging, lubricating, positioning. The drawing implies all four and describes none of them.
Unboxing includes a wipe-down. Silicone picks up manufacturing dust, and a damp cloth takes 20 seconds.
Charging takes about two hours from empty. The device usually arrives partly charged, so the first session may not need a full cycle.
Lubricating is water-based, a thin layer on the device and on the body. The drawing shows the device, not the prep.
Positioning is the step the picture gets wrong by omission. It's also the only one that decides whether the session works.
Setting the Ears Before the Shaft
Start with the power off. Insert to about 4.3 inches, which is the full insertable length, then stop and check the ears. The first time you do this, stop earlier than feels right.
They should rest against the external area, not press into it. If they float, come out slightly. If they press, go deeper by a quarter inch.
Rotate the body before you change depth. At 1.4 inches wide, the device turns easily, and rotation fixes more alignment problems than depth does.
Only then turn on the external zone. At setting one, the motor is quiet enough that you can hear the difference between contact and air.
Which Control Does What
Two zones, two controls, and no labels on the drawing. The usual layout puts them stacked on the handle, one above the other.
Test with the device off. Press each control once and watch which section moves. That's a 30 second test that saves a week of confusion.
The top control is usually the shaft and the lower one the arm, but that varies by production run. Watch, don't assume.
Long-press behavior matters too. On most dual-zone devices, a long press returns that zone to its starting setting. Knowing which control resets which zone saves a lot of accidental mid-session changes.
When the Picture Is Wrong for Your Body
The drawing assumes a fixed distance between the shaft and the ears. Bodies vary by 2 or 3 inches in that measurement.
If the ears sit above the external area at every depth and angle, the shape is wrong for you. That's not a technique problem, and no amount of practice fixes it.
If they sit below, the shaft is too long for your anatomy, and the device will feel deeper than it is.
In either case, the correct response is a different shape rather than a different routine.
Read the Product Page Instead
Skip the diagram if you've already used a rabbit-style device. You know the sequence, and the drawing adds nothing.
Hold off on buying if the product page doesn't list insertable length and width. Those two numbers decide fit, and a drawing can't substitute for them.
The honest limitation here is that the instructions are thin by design. The device is simple enough to use without a manual, and the missing step is the one that matters most.
That's a real cost for a first-time buyer. It's a minor one for anyone who has used this shape before.
Start With Step One, Not Step Four
Ears, then power, then shaft. The arrow can wait.
- SECRET LANGUAGE: 4.3 inches insertable inside a 9.1 inch body, 1.4 inches wide, separate controls for the arm and the shaft, and 12 settings across the two zones.
- Browse the Customer Favorites collection for shapes with clearer onboarding.
- Related reading: Where to Start With SECRET LANGUAGE If You Have Never Used One for a slower first week.
- Related reading: SECRET LANGUAGE vs SANDRA: Which One Fits Your Routine Better if you're still choosing a shape.
- More from this batch: CONDICE in a Cold Room: The Warm-Up Minute.
Sources
- Kinsey Institute — general research summaries on adult device use and reported comfort.
- International Electrotechnical Commission — published summary of the IPX7 water resistance rating.
- Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States — general education on lubricant compatibility with silicone.
This is general education, not medical advice. If you have persistent pain, numbness, or a condition that affects sensation, talk with a clinician before using an insertable device. Dimensions vary between production runs, so confirm current figures before purchase.
