SEX LIPS vs. HOPSTAR for a First Shared Buy: Two Ways to Start Together
If you could keep only one, the honest answer depends on who's holding it.
This is the first one you're buying as a couple, not for yourself. That changes the criteria. Here's how SEX LIPS and HOPSTAR differ when two people have to agree on one device.
The Short Answer
SEX LIPS is the safer first shared buy because it's simple and undemanding: one button, one contact point, and a lowest setting that's genuinely gentle. HOPSTAR is the better pick if you already know you both like focused suction and want more range from the start. Go with SEX LIPS for a low-pressure first purchase, then upgrade later if you both want more.
What "Shared" Actually Changes
When two people buy one device, three things matter more than specs: how easy it is to hold on someone else, how fast it backs off when it's too much, and how simple it is to clean between uses.
SEX LIPS wins the last one outright. A smaller, simpler body is faster to wash and dry. HOPSTAR has more surface area and more settings, which is more to manage when you're passing it back and forth.
The honest part: neither one is designed as a couple's device. Both are single-user toys that happen to work well with a partner driving.
Getting the First Session Right
Start on the lowest level and stay there for 1 to 2 minutes. That's the rule for both. Most people who dislike a first session simply started too high.
Say you're using HOPSTAR on a partner: rest the mouth of the toy against the external area without pressing down, and leave a small air gap. Suction reads stronger with a light seal than with pressure.
With SEX LIPS, the opposite habit helps. Hold it steady and let the level climb slowly. Most people settle in for 10 to 15 minutes and stop well before battery life matters. Give it 3 minutes before you decide anything.
Noise, Charging, and Storage
Both sit near 45 dB at the bottom setting, which is inaudible through a closed door at 3 feet. At the top, expect more from HOPSTAR, because suction at high levels moves more air. If you're buying this for a shared apartment, that top end is the number worth checking.
A 60-minute charge is typical for a week of short sessions on either one. Neither is waterproof beyond splashes, so keep both out of the bath and away from the sink.
What You're Actually Deciding Between
The two devices answer different questions. SEX LIPS asks whether suction works for you at all. HOPSTAR assumes it does and asks how much range you want. That's why the simpler one is the better first shared buy: it settles the bigger question for less.
If you already own another suction toy and you like it, skip SEX LIPS. You'd be buying a second version of an answer you already have. That's the clearest case for going straight to HOPSTAR.
Splitting the Cost and the Decision
One practical note about buying as a pair: decide who keeps it. A device that lives in one person's drawer tends to be used more than one described as "ours," because shared objects need permission and personal ones don't.
Say you split the cost and store it together anyway. Fine, but agree on the cleaning rule up front. Whoever uses it last washes it, no exceptions. That single rule prevents most of the friction a shared device causes.
If neither of you wants to own the decision, buy the simpler device and treat it as a trial run. The first time you try either one, stay on the lowest level for a full 2 minutes before changing anything.
What Changes After the First Month
Most couples find that after a few sessions the device falls into a pattern: one person uses it alone more often than the two of them use it together. That isn't a failure of the purchase. It just means you bought a personal device, not a shared activity.
Judge it that way and you'll be happier with the outcome. If you want something that pulls two people into the same room, that's a different shopping trip.
Where Both Fall Short
Skip both if you want internal stimulation, and don't buy either if you need a hands-free design. SEX LIPS won't work if you dislike a focused external sensation, and HOPSTAR isn't for you if you'd rather not manage a settings list on a first try. Neither is ideal as a surprise gift you're unsure about.
For a First Shared Buy
Buy the simple one first. Add range later, once you know you want it.
- SEX LIPS — entry tier, one button, one contact point, and a genuinely gentle lowest setting; the easiest device to hand to a partner for the first time.
- HOPSTAR — more range than SEX LIPS and a suction head that works well with a partner driving, once you both know you like this style.
- Browse the Customer Favorites collection for other couple-friendly picks.
- Related reading: which one packs better for a weekend trip and two entry suction toys compared.
- Deciding between two others instead? See ALLURING LIPS vs. GODLIKE as a backup toy.
Sources
- Emily Nagoski — writing on responsive desire and pacing.
- Esther Perel — writing on shared intimacy and communication.
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention — general guidance on cleaning personal items.
Written by the GETAUVE Editorial Team. This article is general education and not medical advice. Stop if anything causes pain, and talk with a clinician about persistent discomfort.
