What to Do When You Do Not Know What to Do First

By GETAUVE Editorial Team · Published October 29, 2026

What to Do When You Do Not Know What to Do First: A First Session in Five Steps

Last time felt fine and nothing more, and you spent the next day wondering what went wrong. Probably one small thing.

A warm walkthrough of a first session: the five steps in order, the three things that quietly ruin it, and how to tell device from technique.

The Short Answer

Order beats intensity. Charge first, warm up for 2 minutes at the lowest level, add lubricant before you need it, and stop at 20 minutes whether or not it feels like it's building. Most disappointing first sessions skip the lubricant, start at level four, or run past the point where the body has caught up. None of that requires a new device.

The Detail That Was Missing

It's usually the lubricant. Not the amount, the timing. People apply it when something starts to feel dry, which is already thirty seconds too late, and the interruption is what breaks the rhythm.

Or it's temperature. Hands cold, room cold, device cold. The body takes a minute to adjust, and starting at a moderate setting during that minute reads as too much rather than as pleasure.

Or it's simply that the first session happened on a schedule. Ten minutes between a work call and dinner isn't a first session, it's a test run with a deadline. One night, after work, with nothing else planned, is a different experiment entirely.

None of these are device problems, and all of them are fixable tonight.

The Order Matters More Than the Setting

Warmth, then contact, then movement, then intensity. That's the sequence the body expects, and reversing it is why a moderate setting can feel like a jump.

A two-minute warm-up at the lowest level costs almost nothing and changes everything. Use that time to notice where the device sits and whether your hand is doing unnecessary work.

If your hand is gripping, stop and adjust the angle. A device that stays where you put it needs no grip, and a bendable body is worth the extra second of shaping.

A Five-Step First Session

• Charge the device fully, and put the lubricant within reach before you start.
• Spend 2 minutes at the lowest level, no goal, just contact.
• Add lubricant, then move up one level. One, not three. A 3.4 oz bottle sits within reach, and that single change fixes most of what people call a bad first session.
• Stay there for 5 to 8 minutes. If nothing is building, change the pattern rather than the power.
• Stop at 20 minutes. Put it away. That's the whole session.

20 minutes is deliberate. Long enough to learn something, short enough that you don't end up overstimulated and discouraged. The trade-off is that it can feel unfinished, which is the point.

What to Skip on Night One

Skip the second device. Skip the settings menu. Skip anything that requires reading while you're using it.

Skip the expectation of a finish, too. A first session is a calibration, and calibrations are allowed to be unremarkable. The people who enjoy the first month most are usually the ones who treated the first night as a walkthrough.

And skip the phone. Not for mood reasons, but because the timer is the only thing you need, and a timer on a phone invites a glance at notifications.

Pick the night deliberately. Before bed, on a day that didn't end with a deadline, is a different experiment from ten minutes between a call and dinner.

How to Tell Whether It Was the Device

Run the same five steps three times over 2 weeks. If the third session still feels like nothing, change one variable: the pattern, then the shape, then the mechanism.

If air-pulse does nothing and vibration does, that's information about you, not a defect. If neither works, the issue is more likely the setting or the timing than the product.

Only after three clean attempts is it fair to say the device isn't for you. One bad night, run at level 5 with no lubricant and one eye on the clock, isn't evidence of anything.

The Day After

Wash everything with warm water and mild soap, dry it fully, and put it back in the same place. Charge it if it dropped below half.

Then write one line: the level you used and whether you'd repeat it. Three lines over three sessions is a better buying guide than any review you'll read. The downside is that it takes three weeks to get an answer, which is longer than most people want to wait.

Who Doesn't Need a Script

If you've done this before and you know your own pace, skip the steps. This is for the first month, when the uncertainty is about sequence rather than sensation, and when a small ordering mistake can make a perfectly good device feel like a waste.

Sources

• Cleveland Clinic — general patient information on sexual health and comfort.
• Planned Parenthood — education on lubricants and body-safe materials.
• NAMS — general guidance on desire and response across life stages.

This article is general education, not medical advice. If a session causes pain, stop and speak with a clinician before trying again.