What to Say About Choosing Between Two Similar Options

By GETAUVE Editorial Team · Published October 18, 2026

What to Say About Choosing Between Two Similar Options

One of you says "whichever," and the other hears "I don't care about this."

How to have the slightly awkward conversation about two nearly identical bundles, with the sentences that keep it from turning into a test of who cares more.

The Short Answer

Give each set a job before you compare them. Couples Intimacy is the shared-hour option: KUBEE for prostate-focused play, CONDICE for external licking, Velvet Touch for glide. Self-Love Ritual is the solo-reset option: HOPSTAR, GODLIKE, and the same lubricant, built for 3 short nights. Then each person says which job matches their week, and whoever has the stronger preference wins that round.

The goal isn't a fair split. It's a decision both people can live with, made in under 15 minutes.

The Word That Ends the Conversation

"Whichever" is meant as flexibility and lands as indifference. The person who offered it thinks they're being easy. The person who heard it thinks they're now responsible for the whole decision, including the part where it goes wrong.

There's a version of this that works: "I don't have a strong preference between these 2, but I do want the one we'll use on a weeknight." That's not indifference. That's a criterion. It gives the other person something to work with instead of a blank screen.

If you catch yourself saying "whichever," add one sentence. Just one. It changes the entire tone of the next 10 minutes.

Give Each Option a Job

Comparison gets easier when each item has a role, because roles can be discussed and features can't. Nobody has a meaningful opinion about pattern count. Almost everybody has an opinion about whether they want to be awake for 20 minutes or 60.

• The shared option. 2 people, a longer window, and a piece that needs a conversation about angle. That's the couples set.
• The solo option. 1 person, a short window, and no coordination. That's the self-love set.

Once the jobs are named, the conversation stops being "which one do you like" and becomes "which night are we actually planning." That's a much easier question, and it has an answer.

Say What You'd Actually Use

This is the sentence most people avoid: "I'd use the solo one on Tuesdays and the shared one once a month." Saying it out loud feels like a confession. It's actually the most useful thing in the conversation, because it converts a preference into a schedule. Say it after work, when you're both fed and nobody is rushing out the door, and it lands much better.

A schedule is testable. If the schedule says 8 solo nights and 1 shared night a month, the solo set is the obvious buy, and the shared set is a maybe-later. If it says 4 and 4, buy both, or buy the shared one and add the solo piece later.

Be honest about the ratio. Optimistic ratios produce drawers full of good intentions.

Close It in One Sentence

End with a decision, not a summary: "Let's get the solo set now and revisit the other one in the spring." A close does 2 things. It confirms the choice, and it gives the unchosen option a future, which makes letting it go easier for whoever wanted it.

If you can't close in one sentence, the disagreement isn't about the product. It's about something the product represents, and no bundle resolves that. Name the real thing before you spend money.

What to Do With the Slightly Awkward Silence

There will be a pause after someone states a preference. Let it sit for 3 seconds. The instinct is to fill it with a joke or a retraction, and both of those undo the work you just did. This is harder at 11 p.m. than on a Sunday morning, which is one more reason to have the conversation earlier in the day.

Then reflect it back: "So the weeknight one matters more to you." That's it. No rebuttal, no counter-preference yet. Once each person has heard their own position stated clearly, the negotiation gets shorter, not longer.

When You Should Buy Neither Yet

If the conversation keeps circling, the issue may be timing rather than fit, and a purchase decided under pressure tends to get used once and then avoided. The honest trade-off of buying both is cost and clutter. The honest trade-off of buying neither is a delay, which is usually cheaper than a drawer full of resentment. Skip the purchase for a month if either person is saying yes just to end the discussion.

Sources

• Kinsey Institute — research summaries on couple communication and sexual satisfaction.
• American Psychological Association — guidance on collaborative decision-making.
• American Sexual Health Association — lubricant and material guidance.
• GETAUVE — product specifications and care documentation.

This article is general education, not medical advice. If a conversation about this feels unsafe rather than awkward, prioritize safety.